Stop Crying Your Heart Out
by angel-death-dealer
Summary: A very bad day shows some insight into the heartbreaking romance that Rigsby and Van Pelt still share with one another. Rated M for references, nothing sexual. Rigspelt.


_**Those of you who have read some of my NCIS fics may recognise this plot, because I used it for a Tiva story. I've been really getting into the Rigspelt recently though, and them breaking up made me sad (I'm watching it UK time) so I thought they needed a bit of comforting...I had to hurt them first, so I apologize for that, but the end is sweet, hopefully.**_

**Stop Crying Your Heart Out**

With a brand new witness statement folder in her hands, Lisbon almost bounded into her office with a spring in her step. The confession had been all they needed, and she'd sent Cho and Rigsby off to arrest the man they needed to put away, the whole case had been solved in under six hours and they were all looking at an early finish today. Throwing the folder onto her desk, she turned and went back towards the kitchen. There was nothing else that could be done now until the men bought their culprit back for his interview, and so she decided to make herself a coffee and try and prepare as much paperwork before hand so that she could leave the office on time, if not early, tonight.

The coffee pot was empty, but if that was the worst thing that happened in her day, she could handle that. She refilled it, and headed towards the bathroom while it was preparing. The second she opened the bathroom door, however, she was hit with a foreign sound. Whimpering. She frowned, trying to figure out who would be whimpering in the ladies bathroom. She went closer to the bathroom stall where the noise was coming from, and pressed her ear to the door. To her surprise, the door was merely pushed shut, not locked, and it opened to reveal the woman in question.

"Van Pelt?" she muttered softly.

The shock in her voice was fully deserved. After all, she wasn't sure anyone had ever seen Grace in such a state. Even after she had been forced into breaking up with Rigsby two months previously, there hadn't been the reaction she was currently having now. She was sitting on the toilet seat, which she'd lowered to create a chair for herself, bone pail and covered in a sheen of sweat. She was also clutching at her stomach in pain. At the murmur of her name, Grace looked up and her eyes revealed not only how much pain she was in, but also how much she was trying to keep it under control.

Despite her inability to properly deal with an upset woman, Lisbon was instantly kneeling before her. "Grace, what's wrong?"

When she spoke, her voice was strained. "I'm sorry, I'll get back to work soon-"

"No," Lisbon told her, holding her hands in her own. "No, something's wrong, you're not in any state to work. Let me get you some water."

Grace shook her off, tossing her head from side to side. "No, I don't need water," she insisted.

"You need _something_, Grace," Lisbon argued. "You look like you're about to collapse."

"Boss, _please_," she begged in a whisper, a tear slipping down her cheek.

When she noticed the tear, Lisbon knew that this wasn't the average pained woman. She softened considerable. "Grace, what's going on?"

"Can you do something for me?" she asked, her voice hesitant.

"Of course," she nodded.

"Could you...maybe get Wayne back here?" she asked slowly, as if she were afraid Lisbon would say no.

"Grace, what's going on? Rigsby's in the field."

"Wayne," she repeated. "I just...I need Wayne."

"Why Rigsby?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"I _need _him," she repeated, bowing her head. "I know he's in the field but I _can't_..." she doubled over, cringing in pain. "Please, boss?" she begged once more.

Lisbon wasn't sure what was most shocking about the situation – Grace with tears, Grace in pain, or Grace admitting that she needed help from Rigsby, even though they'd been apart for the past few months. "What's happening?" Lisbon asked again, sounding slightly more panicked.

"I can't explain, I just..."

"...need Rigsby," Lisbon finished for her.

Biting her lip, Grace nodded. "Yeah."

Weighing up the options, she whipped out her cell phone. "I'll call Cho and see how long they'll be," she said. "You stay put, ok?"

Grace nodded, and pulled her feet up onto the toilet seat with her, tucking her knees underneath her chin.

Lisbon stood before the mirrors, unable to take her eyes off of the disturbing reflection of Grace she saw in the glass. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for Rigsby to pick up his phone. She'd told Grace she was calling Cho, but she knew given Grace's behaviour it'd be better to call the man himself.

"_Boss_?" came the answering call eventually.

"How soon until you're back?" she asked abruptly.

"_Fifteen minutes_?" Rigsby estimated. "_We're on our way now, traffics not too bad_."

"Hurry as much as you can, but don't break any laws," she instructed.

"_Boss_?" he questioned. "_Something wrong_?"

"Yeah, it's Grace," she said.

She heard his intake of breath. "_Is she ok_?" he demanded.

"I don't know," Lisbon admitted. "I don't think so. I've just found her in the ladies room, she's hurting from something. She looks like she's really in pain but she won't let me touch her. I tried to get her to talk to me but she freaked out saying that she just wanted you. She keeps asking for you," she rambled, checking to see how much Grace was listening to the conversation. When it appeared she had no interest in Lisbon's phone call, she continued. "She's crying, a lot."

"_Oh god_," Rigsby murmered.

"Is there something going on?" Lisbon asked him.

Muttering almost to himself, she found his answer less than revealing. "_It's started_."

"What's started?" she asked.

He seemed more aware once more that she was talking to him. "_We'll be there soon, Boss_," he assured her. "_If you can, can you get her to lie down somewhere? She shouldn't have even come to work today, but...just tell her I'm on my way, please?"_

And with that, he hung up the phone. Lisbon stared at it in confusion, trying to figure out what the conversation had actually told her other than the fact that he would be here soon. When she realised that all she'd got were cryptic clues that were worthy of Jane, she put her phone back in her pocket and returned to the stall where Grace was curled up. Grace didn't even respond to her presence. "Rigsby's on his way," she assured her. "Do you want to come and lie down? You can use the couch in my office." Grace, however, was silent, but Lisbon stood up and extended her hand. When she didn't move even then, she frowned and tried a different approach. "Grace, Wayne said you should come and lie down."

To her surprise, Grace took Lisbon's hand, and she allowed her boss to guide her into her office without a word of protest.

* * *

Exactly eleven minutes later, Rigsby and Cho arrived back in the office. Their culprit was making quite the noisy fuss when they stepped off of the elevator which woke Jane from his nap on the couch. Cho escorted the young man to an interview room while Rigsby headed straight towards where Lisbon was standing in the doorway off her office, watching him. He threw his bag on his desk on the way through. Jane followed, curious as to what was going on, but both Lisbon and Rigsby ignored him. "Rigsby-"

"What happened?" he asked. "When did it start?"

"I don't know," Lisbon answered, defeated. "I found her like this right before I called you. I don't know what's going on, but she's really in pain. I've offered her painkillers and to take her to the hospital, but she wouldn't have either."

Rigsby wordlessly moved past Lisbon into the office, going over to where Grace was curled up on her side on the couch. Her tailored jacket had been discarded over the back of the sofa and her hair was starting to look tousled. Once there, without paying any attention to the others watching in the doorway, he dropped to her side, smoothing back to hair to reveal her pained face. His voice dropped to a soft whisper. "Grace," he murmured. "Grace, look at me."

She looked up at him, reaching out her hand and placing it against his upper arm. "Wayne," she croaked, clutching is arm tightly through a wave of pain.

"It's started, hasn't it?" he realised.

Whimpering, she nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

He moved so that he was half-sitting, half-laying on the couch, and he lifted her against his body. He pulled her head against his chest gently and began stroking her hair as his other arm went around her back, holding her against him. He still wasn't paying any attention to the others, who watched them curiously, Jane trying to process what was happening, and Lisbon in a state of disbelief.

"I've gotcha," he assured her. "It's ok, I'm here now."

"They said it would hurt, but..."

"I know. I know it hurts, but-"

"It hurts _so _much, Wayne," she whimpered again.

Rigsby sighed heavily and looked over his shoulder. "Jane?" he asked, as the blonde man nodded and approached him. "In the middle drawer of my desk there's a bottle of prescription painkillers with Grace's name on them. There's a small black bag, as well, like a pouch. Could you get them for me, and some water?"

"Of course," he nodded, and retreated out of the office again.

Lisbon followed him, not before casting a confused and concerned stare in the direction of her team members. As she left, Rigsby reached down and placed a hand against Grace's stomach. She whimpered, not with pain this time but something else, and she tried to shove his hand away. However, he just fought against her struggle and placed his hand fully against her stomach as he began to rub soothing circles, his other arm keeping her in place.

"It's ok," he assured her. "It's just me."

She shuddered in a violent pain and gripped Rigsby tightly, her fist balling up his shirt in her grasp as she began to tremble. "It wasn't supposed to be this way," she complained.

"No, it wasn't," he agreed, his own voice tightening painfully.

"_Wayne_," she gasped as the pain continued to grip her.

He cradled her face with one hand as he kissed her forehead. "I'm right here," he told her. "I'm not letting you go. I'm right here."

* * *

Jane wasn't surprised to find that Rigsby's middle drawer was the most cluttered off the three that made up his desk. It took him several minutes of rummaging to find a white prescription bottle. "Aha!" he announced. Lisbon was already holding the black pouch that they'd found immediately, but the pain killers had been more of a treasure hunt.

"Come on," Lisbon said, starting towards the office again.

But Jane was looking down at the bottle of painkillers. "...Oh dear," he whispered.

"What?" Lisbon asked.

"These have Grace's name on them," Jane realised.

"Rigsby said they would."

"Her full name," he emphasised.

"All prescription meds do," Lisbon told him simply.

"Did you not consider why Rigsby might be keeping her pain medication in his desk?" he asked her, before holding the bottle out to her. "Look at the name."

Lisbon turned her attention to the small white bottle, and began to realise that something more powerful than stomach pains was at play here. "...Rigsby," she read aloud. "Grace Victoria Rigsby."

"I understand now, what's happening," he revealed.

"...well?" Lisbon asked, when he didn't explain any further.

"His concern and her pain...Lisbon, can't you see it?"

"What is it that I'm supposed to be seeing, Jane?" she asked.

"Grace and Rigsby have continued to care for one another much more than we've been lead to believe in the past few months, and now these emotions are being tested," he explained.

"How?"

Jane shrugged, getting ready to list his hypothesis. "Grace is keeping prescription painkillers in Rigsby's desk, rather than her own, meaning she doesn't want to take them but he clearly thinks its for the best. She's also allowing the physical pain to overwhelm her, which I'm sure I don't need to tell you is much unlike herself. She's accepting what she's feeling as a weakness, one she's only allowing Rigsby to provide comfort for. Not to mention the pain in Rigsby's eyes, the need to take away her pain even though he knows that he can't..." Jane's eyes were sympathetic as his solemly delivered the diagnosis he'd predicted. "Grace was pregnant when they ended their relationship, and they got back together for the sake of the child. With Grace's family, I'd guess that in that pouch you're holding are wedding rings, as they would have married quickly and with minimal fuss so that when the truth about her pregnancy came out at work, Hightower couldn't separate them on the team if they were married. Now, however, I believe that Grace is miscarrying that child."

They both looked back into the office through the currently open blinds, just in time to see Grace let a real sob escape, sounding so broken and pained as she continued to grip at Rigsby. In response, Rigsby adjusted his arms around her, gathering her tighter and cradling her against him as he whispered in her ear. It was obvious that he was just as heartbroken, but he was clearly using everything he had to try and hold it together for her.

"Oh, god," Lisbon mumbled.

* * *

When they entered the office again, Jane gave them the painkillers and the bottle of water. "Thanks," Rigsby mumbled, as he sat up a little more, trying to move Grace with him. She protested, curling tighter into a ball around him and making it impossible for him to move any further. "Grace, I know that it hurts, but it's going to get worse if you don't take the pain killers," he told them.

She shook her head against him. "I don't want them," she insisted.

"Don't say that," he whispered.

"I deserve to feel this pain."

Rigsby pressed his face against the top of her head, aware of the fact that Cho had now also joined Lisbon and Jane in the doorway and now they were all watching him, but he avoided their eyes as he placed his face alongside hers affectionately, speaking against her temple with a strong determination. "This was _not _your fault."

"It was," she denied.

"You did _nothing _wrong," he tried to convince her.

"Something went wrong, Wayne," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but it wasn't something that you did," he insisted. She whimpered again, another wave of pain taking over her. "Take the pain killers, Grace."

"No."

"You're hurting."

"If I'm in pain, I don't feel empty," she whispered.

"I can't sit here with you hurting this much and do nothing. Please, for me," he begged of her. She gasped at the pain and he repeated his request, brushing his lips against her temple. His own eyes were welling dangerously now. "For me. _Please_. Take them for me."

After what seemed like forever she finally surrendered and took the painkillers. After she had swallowed them, she collapsed back against him and he held her tightly as she began to fight even harder against the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her. She buried her head in the gap between his neck and shoulder when one of these sobs escaped her. "I can't do this," she realised.

"Yes, you can," he said. "It'll be ok, I promise."

"I feel _awful_, Wayne," she cried.

"So do I, but I'm not going anywhere, ok?" he assured her. "I'm staying right here. We're going to do this together. I promise you that I'm not leaving. Not for a second."

At this, Jane and Lisbon entered the room properly. They closed the door behind them as Cho went to answer his phone, and Lisbon closed the blinds to avoid anyone crowding for a curious look. Jane crouched beside the couch, drawing Rigsby's attention to him. "Rigsby, you need to take Grace to the hospital," he said, softly and calmly.

He shook his head. "No," he insisted.

"Grace is sick," he pointed out. "She needs to see a doctor. Take her to the hospital."

"We've already been," he told him.

Jane frowned at this, exchanging a look with Lisbon. "Wayne," he said, using his first name for a moment, "Do you understand what's happening?"

"Yeah," he replied with a shaking breath. "We...we were at the hospital all last night."

"So she has seen a doctor?"

Rigsby nodded. "She wasn't even in pain before it happened," he sighed. "We were in the kitchen and it just hit her and when I looked round she was on the floor. We got to the hospital and they said that there was nothing they could do, that it was already too late. They did a scan to be sure but there wasn't a heartbeat anymore..." his voice hitched, and Grace held tighter to him as his voice broke. "They gave her a pill to...uh...kinda empty everything out I guess, and they said her body would do the rest of the work." He bought Grace's hands up to his chest, holding them there so that they weren't lingering over her now-empty stomach. He took a deep shuddering breath. "They uh...they said that the pill would make her get her, you know, women's thing, and that it would be a lot more painful. She's never normally in pain with it, but I think..." he pressed his head against her hair for a moment, inhaling. When he raised his head again, there were tears almost bursting out of his eyes.

Lisbon sat on the far end of the couch, touching her hand to Grace's ankle in a small gesture of comfort. "You really care about each other," she realised softly.

Rigsby nodded again, his shattered voice coming out on a choked sob. "I _love _her." He noticed the pouch that was still in Lisbon's hands, and he reached out a hand for it. "Can I...?"

Lisbon handed it over, "Sure."

Rigsby took it from her, and kissed Grace's forehead to secure her attention. "Hey, I've got something that might make you feel a bit better," he told her. She watched with a sniffle as he opened the pouch and, just like Jane had predicted, two gold bands fell into his palm. He put one on his finger and went to slide the thinner one onto her hand but she made her hand into a fist, stopping him.

"I can't," she shook her head.

"Why not?" he asked.

"There are no obligations anymore," she choked out.

Confused, Rigsby frowned. "Grace..._what_?"

"There's no obligation to me now that there isn't a baby," she pointed out tearfully. "You don't have to stay."

"Hey, look at me," he said. She shook her head again, burying it away from his gaze in his chest. "No, Grace, I want you to look at me." She still refused so he physically raised her head with his hands, holding it in place as he cupped her cheeks. Ignoring Lisbon and Jane, he kissed her on the lips, full and passionate, but hardly inappropriate considering the situation. "I _didn't _marry you out of obligation, and you know that," he reminded her.

"But the baby..."

"Was a bonus," he said, wiping away a tear with his thumb. "Grace, I _love _you. I'm so in love with you that it scares the hell out of me sometimes. I'd have married you one day whether it was a year, two years, or even ten years. I knew from the moment we met that you were going to be mine."

Another wave of pain hither and she held his shoulder tightly, placing her free hand on her stomach. He wove one of his arms around her, rubbing her back softly as she let out one huge sob, followed by another, and another...but then she held them back.

"No, no, no...don't stop," he urged her.

"Wayne..."

"Let it all out," he told her. "This isn't about strengths and weaknesses, Grace. This is about letting out the pain. If you don't let this out now, it'll bottle up and take over you. I won't let you do that to yourself."

"But-"

"But nothing," he insisted, shaking his head. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying, Grace. This is _our _loss that we need to mourn. We created that life together and the only way we can get through this is together." He took hold of her hand again, and this time she allowed him to slide the simple wedding band onto her finger, her breath shuddering as he bought the digits up to his lips afterwards. "Just let it out, I'm right here, I always will be."

She shook her head, fighting sobs. "I _can't_. Not here. I need to work-"

She moved to stand up, and it was Lisbon's arms on her calf muscles that stopped her getting up, she looked her boss in the eye. "No working," she whispered to her. "You're going home, together."

Grace shook her head. "There are baby things in my apartment. I can't go there."

Wayne sighed. "Same with my apartment," he admitted, running his hands over his eyes.

"You can come to mine," Jane piped up. "I have plenty of spare room."

Grace looked at Jane, who gave her a comforting look, but didn't bother with the cliché smile. He knew what it was like to lose a child, even if it had been in a different way to their own loss. "Thank you," she whimpered.

"I want you both to go," Lisbon told them. "And you're to stay away for the rest of the week. Take time to grieve together. If you need anything, _anything _at all, day or night, I want you to call me straight away."

Rigsby nodded. "Thanks, boss."

"You'll be ok," she said quietly. "It might take a while, but you'll be ok."

Again, almost robotically, he nodded. "Yeah, I'll take care of her."

"I mean you, as well," Lisbon pointed out.

Rigsby locked eyes with Lisbon for a moment, fighting to keep his pain under wraps so that he could comfort Grace enough to get them both through this. "I got it, boss," he choked. He tried to help Grace to her feet, but the pain was too much and she wasn't able to stand. Without hesitating, he gathered her into his arms with a practiced ease. Grace froze at the movement but eventually relaxed in his embrace, allowing him to hold her.

Jane watched them cling to each other, noticing the small similarities between the death of Rigsby and Grace's child, and the death of his own little girl so long ago. It didn't matter whether or not you actually had a chance to hold your baby in your arms, you still felt like a part of your world, a huge, overwhelming part, had been destroyed. However, he did have hope. While he had needed to mourn his wife and child at the same time, and struggle through his grief alone, Rigsby and Grace still had enough other.

* * *

Jane had driven them back to his home, allowing the two of them to sit in the back seat together, Grace curled against Rigsby's side as her sniffles were held back from becoming full sobs. He held the front door open so that Rigsby could carry the distraught woman in. He lead them upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms that his wife had decorated when they moved in and then went downstairs to star making some tea.

While Jane was in the kitchen, Rigsby stayed with Grace in the bedroom. He knew that the best thing to do was keep her calm, try his best to make her feel a little better, so he began to go through her rituals that she would do after a bad day, or after a case that was particularly hard and heartbreaking. The starting point was the bath. She sat on the rim of the tub as he monitored the water, making sure that it wasn't going to burn her skin. They barely made eye contact because she seemed to be looking everywhere but his eyes, but he knew that she still wanted him nearby because she made sure that part of them was always touching, even if it was just the linking of their pinkie fingers.

He allowed her to bath alone, knowing that even though they had shared a bath together on several occasions, that this wasn't one of those playful times. Jane had walked down the hall to find Rigsby sitting with his back against the bathroom door, ready just in case she had called for him. After she had soaked she called out his name. He took her back into the bedroom and dressed her in the sweat pants and oversized sweatshirts that had been in the bottom of his work bag ready for a workout that evening. Together, they went downstairs and found themselves in Jane's particularly empty living room, void of all personal touches beside basic furniture. Jane had come in shortly after them, placing two steaming mugs of hot cocoa before them with a sandwich each to match.

Grace pulled her sleeves up on Rigsby's sweatshirt and held the mug between her hands, bringing it close underneath her nose to lose herself in the sweet aroma of chocolate. Curled on the couch, the couple lost themselves in each other, the scent of chocolate comforting them both. Jane went to make his way back into the kitchen to give them privacy, but hovered in the hall to watch the couple. Despite the situation, he couldn't help but smile as Rigsby's voice started to whisper gentle lyrics into his lover's, no, his wife's ear.

"_Hold up,_

_Hold on,_

_Don't be scared,_

_You'll never change what's been and done._

_May your smile shine on_

_Don't be scared_

_Your destiny may keep you warm."_

Rigsby trailed his finger along an exposed part of Grace's neck, inching underneath her hair so that he could read the spot that he knew relaxed her. He pressed his lips momentarily against her forehead, withdrawing them only enough so that he could continue singing softly.

"'_Cause all of the stars are fading away,_

_Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday_

_Take what you need and be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out."_

Yes, they were suffering. Yes, they were hurting, But yes, they loved each other. Though their marriage had been rushed because of the consequences, the emotions that present it as an option were strong, and they would make it through this heartache. Jane smiled softly, noticing how Grace's whimpering and breathing began to slow, almost stopping completely as she wrapped herself in Rigsby's embrace, the two of them reassuring each other in a way that no one else would be able to. Yes, Jane could be there to make sure that they remembered to eat, for tonight at least, and Lisbon could give them the time off they needed to come to terms with their loss, but at the end of the day they could only truly survive this with any sanity intact if they had each other.

But as he watched the pair, seeing how very obviously they did have each other, both as lovers and husband and wife, he knew that they would be ok.

_We're all of us stars_

_We're fading away_

_Just try not to worry_

_You'll see us someday_

_Just take what you need _

_And be on your way_

_And stop crying your heart out_

_Stop crying your heart out_

_Stop crying your heart out._


End file.
